The Not So Obvious, Obvious.

They will only be this small, once. Never again. The room, the mess, the stain, the tears, the boo boos, and constant thirst, and then they will be, adults. And you have already molded something in them. Something that will be there, without their knowing at times.

Sometimes, all I can see, as a mother, is the mess that was made. The stain that I’m having a hard time getting up, or the closet door they broke. (or is that just us? 😂) But, it will pass. Those moments they created while getting paint on the carpet, THOSE are the parts I can not get back.

Today, and each day, let that forever print on their hearts be LOVE. You will get over the mess. Their childhood shouldn’t be a blur of mom screaming and yelling about replaceable things. We are teaching with our every move. Stop sweating the small stuff.

Some things remain small, in their actual state, while others will grow and grow without your consent, and those are the ones you will want to take the most notice of.

Obviously.

Love you Mel, and Miya. ♥️

I Don’t Believe In Defeat

Have you ever waken up with a swarm of thoughts that made you feel like the day was going to be, just, a disaster? I mean real ugly, for no real reason?

Cool. Me too.

And do you know that as positive as I aim to consistently be, looking at life through eyes of light, this morning, my “thoughtitude” (yes I made that up while doing a self inventory during my morning pee) was in bad shape. Real negative. And I know why.

I had an amazing day, full of wisdom and word and laughter and music and then, just like that, at the end of the night, I had a small disagreement with my mate, that was not fully resolved. I let the sun go down on it.

THIS IS NEVER GOOD.

The bible tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger, specifically because it can open doors for the devil to come in, if not taken care of swiftly. It can allow a snowball effect of negative thinking to occur, and when your thoughts are nasty, your reality will soon follow.

So you stop it. Right then and there, before anything vicious decides it can make a home in you. Well, knowing all of this, from years of trial and error, as I used the bathroom, I began to quietly, but firmly affirm to myself, “I do not believe in defeat. I can do All things through Christ. This day is blessed, and I am blessed in it.”

And more.I said it, and I believed it.

Vital.

How you go down, is how you will get up, so when going on through your day today, be sure to keep in mind that how you end it matters! Good or bad day, what you choose to think on before you shut your eyes, and what you fill yourself with, is important. You do not have to allow anything to kick your butt, if you don’t want it too.

I may have had those thoughts before getting out of bed, and I know that darkness was rooting for my downfall, but I quickly cast them down, because, I don’t believe in defeat.

And adopting that thoughtitude is what has allowed many victories to be my outcome. ♥️

Repeat after me, (do it NOW) “I do not believe in defeat. I am victorious, and this day is blessed, and I am blessed in it!” Say it until you believe it.

Happy Monday!

SN: My love woke me up with breakfast in bed. Bacon included. So, needless to say, had I continued in my funk, and that manifested into words, I would have been the reason for unnecessary dysfunction today.

Something, I could have made a decision to easily fix. And thankfully, I did.

7 Ways To Get More Light In Your Life

1. Admit when you are wrong.

You aren’t going to be an asset in new ventures and friendships and relationships, with an “I’m always right,” mentality. You just won’t. Every area of your life will require you to be able to self reflect, and see where YOU can do better. When you are aware of your own shortcomings, you will rarely be blindsided by someone else’s criticism, and go into situations with a clear mind, and readiness to improve.

2. Stop Interrupting Folks.

How rude right? Some people believe a little interjection means you’re paying attention and have something to add, but really that is your pride talking. We can ALL practice being more humble! Actively listening to someone you’re communicating with, with eye contact, and body language, will almost always secure your spot as the “go to.” You will not only gain that title, but receive the same in return, as people are more inclined to listen to the one who listens much and speaks little.

3. Show Them You Appreciate It.

We can all tell someone thank you, but even that is underused properly, at times. Actions, however, do indeed have a way of saying more than what you were going to attempt to do with your words. Every time. And yes, it works for good and bad. But in this case, a little gift to your amazing coworker for their great energy, or ordering delivery lunch to his job because he wall mounted the TV, or watched the kids while you got your nails done. Little things, that say in a big way, “YOU MATTER,” will register 100% of the time, and will likely interest the ones you gave to, and others to do more in return.

4. Speak Life, To Yourself.

Your voice should be the loudest in your life. Next to God, if you’re like me. I know first hand, that there will be thousands of voices trying to direct in the way that you should go in life, from a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, friends, parents, associates, television, social media, the radio, billboards, YOU NAME IT!! Too much. And yet, sometimes instead of clearing out all the noise, and finding out what we believe of ourselves and where we believe we can go, we wait to be told. And that’s dumb. Basically. In order to see more of your life open up around you, you have to SPEAK it. Write down affirmations of who you are and what you believe of yourself. What you want to accomplish. And don’t just say “I want to…” Say YOU WILL. You will be a homeowner. You will finish college. You will become CEO! There are no visions too big or dreams that are unattainable. And anyone who says you can’t, was probably someone who believed what everyone else said, instead of speaking life, into their own life.

5. Don’t compete.

I’d write into this very long, because women can be the biggest culprits. But you’ve heard it a hundred, thousand, TRILLION times. It’s not healthy to look to your fellow sisterhood, and wonder how to be better than them, look more fierce, get more snatched, or even take their counterparts. Smh. How ignorant can we get? We have something within us as women, that can bring a change to the globe unseen. We are nurturers, naturally able to bring things to life, and bring a love unlike any other when fully tapped in to, but we waste time trying to shade sis’s glow. Let’s stop. I think as women, we are all dope, and when you bring that same energy into each situation you go to, rather work or play, you will see and experience women in a way like never before. Your teammates.

6. Appreciate The Little Joys.

So often, I find myself looking at the bigger picture, that I almost entirely miss out on the little joys. Your kids being goofy, food, heat, air, the way they say your name, and the list GOES. We all have goals we want to reach, and dreams we cant wait to turn into reality, but when we miss out on little joys, we can sometimes lose our grounding, causing us to be less likeable and even approachable. I’m not saying lose focus, but lose the relationship you have with achievements as hierarchy. They will happen. You will make it. But, how much more beautiful it will be when you can add that you took time to be human in the process?

7.Embrace Your Femininity.

Use it for good, and not evil lady. 😂 Show men that we don’t HAVE to be the dominant ones, always in control and unable to submit. We can do it! (For some it’s hard, I know, but you can!) Shave your legs! Being natural doesn’t mean never styling or even brushing your hair! Slick those edges. Wear a dress from time to time. Be poised, and have good manners. Be graceful! Don’t always have to have the last say! Choose your battles Queen! Every little thing doesn’t require a reaction. Lower your voice! Have your mind made up on what you want! Embrace womanhood, and all of the ins and outs, because it is who you are. ♥️

You Didn’t Wake Up Like That

So often as women we scurry to slay and lose hair trying to show other women we have it all “together.” But we don’t. We want men to think we can do it all, that we are strong, and not weak, that we don’t need them..but we do.

And no, that is not an autocorrect.

Women need men. And men need women.

But that’s not what this is about.

I just wanted to scratch the surface of perfection. The thing so many in this generation solemnly swear they are avoiding trying to be, but take all the steps society tells them to, in order to be “different.” Crazy right? 😔 I can relate. We want to have a fiercely beat face, and then lay in the bed and say good morning to the world around us, but in reality, we didn’t wake up like that. Or at least I didn’t. I woke up with stinky breath, eye boogers and crust, and the urgent need to go pee. Buuuuuuuut, I’m not perfect. I’m human.

Women, how great would it be to not necessarily stop trying with yourself, but to stop trying to fit your square into a circle someone else carved out for you?

You don’t have to have perfect skin.
You don’t have to have perfect hair.
You don’t have to have the perfect body.
You don’t need the perfect outfit on everyday. Or, constantly board the struggle bus trying to take a thousand pictures from the perfect angle, so people comment, “goals 😍.” It is pure insanity!

We are WORKS OF ART! Created by the God of the universe, who spoke the entire world into existence! Surely, you are good enough. Surely, when He had you in mind, before you entered your mother’s womb, you were already enough. You were just the girl He had in mind to accomplish the purpose He put in your heart. STOP COMPETING! There isn’t another human, who can do what YOU can do! ♥️

So, focus on being the best version of yourself, after all, being perfect is boring, and you dear, are far from that.

You are a work of art. Don’t let them own you. You own it.