There is really no such thing as the absolute best way to do something that works for everyone. Why? Well because we aren’t all experiencing things the same, we all have different tastes, values, interests, and goals with our body and lives. So, what may be best for one mom may not seem like the best option for others.
With that being said, there ARE some things that can work for everyone, and you can choose to take them or leave them.
There are 5 mental/physical exercises that every sahm mama and working mom should add to their routine to ensure they stay on top of their Ps & Qs while navigating all the crazy that comes with motherhood. These 5 things will keep you grounded, productive, and headed in a overall healthier direction for you and your family.
1. Focus on what you’re focusing on
Simply put, become more active this year with adding or subtracting things that may be aiding in, or stunting your growth, in mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical progress.
It’s imperative to know that this means in a consistent basis. It means making sure that your head is not always stuck on what happened to you yesterday, last week or last year. You won’t grow that way because progress requires looking ahead.
Instead of focusing on traumas, and childhood, and what went wrong or goes wrong, practice securing your mind on where your life is headed, new opportunities, the fact that you aren’t who you were, and who you will be is so much greater than both. That you’re one incredible mom, and there is nothing that can disprove that. Focus on thoughts that will breed bigger, brighter, and better thoughts, because let’s face it, wherever you are now is a direct result of what you continuously fix your mind on. Let it be fixed on better, and let that expand.
2. Read more.
No, I’m not coming at your intellect or insinuating you aren’t doing some form of it now. But, a Facebook thread on who shot John, or other mom’s opinions on vaccines, is not the type of reading I’m speaking of here.
I am talking about material that is going to grow you spiritually, mentally, financially, and emotionally. Materials that will grow you from the inside out, as you chose to apply what’s been read. Read things that will increase your value and brush up on things you already know so you can reach mastery. Working moms, this is where Audible and YouTube comes in. There are no excuses sis. Listen to the book. Just do it. And more of it.
What you allow into your senses, especially your eye gates and ears, directly effects what you think about at some point in the day. And if you see it enough, you will begin thinking you need a waist trainer, to try keto, or buy a leash for your kids because your subconscious is bringing it up to you. If you constantly keep reading you are amazing, that you are enough, that you’re headed in the right direction, and that your life is not a mistake, you will meditate on it, eventually believing, saying it, and then acting on that, heading further in that direction.
So, read more.
3. Tell yourself at least 3 things you love about YOU
Yes, you heard me right. And no, it’s not selfish. I said what I said.
You’re not going to be a bad mom for choosing to love yourself more. The opposite is true. You will only become better. Significantly. Which is what we want as mothers anyways right? To be, do, give, and love better.
Kids aren’t going to remember your inner struggles. They are going to reminisce upon, retain, and regurgitate what they’ve been shown. Ask yourself, are you loving them at your best, if you have trouble loving who you see in the mirror every day?
I know we are doing our best, and that’s all we have. But, I couldn’t really help you if I didn’t tell you the truth. Your “best” can be better sis. Period. Telling yourself how much you enjoy the way you cook, how you acknowledge the best in others, and how you slay effortlessly when you get the time, is not a crime. It’s actually necessary. I mean, if you’re waiting for your boss at work to tell you, your spouse, your kids or anyone else outside of you, you will go back for more validation, and when you don’t get it every time, you’ll begin to look down on yourself, from within. Effecting how your love is shown, on the outside.
Our babies deserve a greater love than we were shown. Which requires us as mamas, to acknowledge that we are the bomb, for ourselves. You don’t have to be perfect to acknowledge you are worthy. And the more you reassure yourself of all the reasons why you’re incredible, the more joyfully you will pass that on, by example to your littles.
4. Breathe deeply and count to 4
Daniel Tiger is a homie here in our home. I mean, he really be getting to the root of why he does what he does, deals with it in a healthy and manageable way, and then moves forward with more understanding and gratitude. He is the goat.
More recently, I’ve been actively practicing telling my daughters to “breathe in, and then out” while talking to them about certain lessons, or mistakes, or even difficult situations that resulted in tears. A toy was wrongfully taken, someone didn’t turn the channel to your show, or whatever the offense, this top has been so beautiful to watch in action. This will help you on the job, at home, and just your overall outlook in that moment, as well as your patience for it.
Simply tell them, (or yourself if need be) to breathe in deeply, counting up to 4, and then exhaling. This should be done slowly, and controlled. If your child is the one breathing, slowly and calmly speak about why they’re in trouble, what they did wrong, and why their feelings were valid, but handled inappropriately, the list goes. Make sure they leave the situation with understanding. I usually do this method: Tell them to breathe, doing it with them by example for the first one. I tell them again, and then while they are doing so, speak. Tell them again, and speaking more. I finish what I’m saying, reaffirm them of their greatness and my love for them, tell them to breathe again, and then we count to 4 together.
Hugs and love usually follow. You will feel better as a mother for how you handled the situation with intent, control, and calmness, and they will show the effects of that as time moves forward, guaranteed. Frustration is common as a mother, especially when you’ve repeated yourself a thousand times, but this practice will ensure those times are fewer and further in between. We will not teach our children through fear tactics.
5. Give yourself a raving review
We are all definitely our loudest critics. We are either rooting for ourselves as women, or telling ourselves why we should’ve or could’ve done better in a circumstance, with supporting arguments. Since this is true, why not begin giving yourself a phenomenal review?
You are going to hear constantly how to do this better, why you shouldn’t do x,y, and z, and how your skin is going to take a blow because of it if you don’t fix your kids formula right. (People come up with all kinds of things out of projection) Why not make a conscious decision to give yourself a 10! You are working to provide, to make sure your kids lack nothing, you are at home, taking care of their needs, giving them your attention, and keeping them safe. You are present mama. You are there, and you care. You may not always have the perfect mommy and me pictures on Instagram to prove it, but your children will be able to speak of your character and who you really are, far better than anyone else. What will they have to say? Your love is what matters most, and as long as you are giving from that place, you deserve a round of applause. Don’t wait for it, take it.