Well you guys, tomorrow is my birthday, and this February has been unlike any other.
Some realizations that have repeatedly approached my thought process this month:
We are fleeting. Here, and then gone. I looked at both of my daughters last night, as they sang a song by Hillsong United, called “Wonder.” It’s a song we discovered while in the homeless shelter last year. I couldn’t help but well up with emotion, as they sang the song and tried to mimic the guitar playing on their fathers two barely touched instruments, here in our home.
They believed it. And they were living, breathing examples of it. Wonder. I realized I wouldn’t always be here with them. That my time with them, though they are only 3 & 1, will pass me by. That to engage, and not be focused on what outfit I want to wear this weekend to celebrate, or what I wanted to get done before the night was over, and other inconsequential things that could wait.
I had them now. And I had them singing and not just singing, but singing a song of praise. They do what I do, and say what I say. And I understand that my influence on them has a magnitude far beyond what I believe I know.
I will work every single day, to make this fleeting time, count, long after my departure.
I realize how important prayer is, and spending time with God so that I can be lead in the right direction. To make mu plans, and as a devoted planner, be sure to give them to God. No exceptions. He has the last and final say so. I must have open communication, like two friends in a car, not ready to get out and go inside just yet. I have to desire His will being done, and not my own.
I have so many goals and things I want to accomplish for the year, and sometimes I think, well, what if they don’t like it? But God has helped me to understand that a healthy assessment of the abilities He has given me is necessary. Then, to keep on repeat in my mind, “I can do ALL things through Christ, who strengthens me.”
Simple. I just have to receive that power and strength. It is mine.
My faith is growing, and at times it feels like I’m being led onto waters that I don’t seem capable of walking on, then He gently reminds me who is in control of the wind, and waves. That the same power that rose Jesus from the dead, lives in me. Now if that doesn’t get your feet moving…
And though there are so many other things, I will end on love.
How it moves and invigorates and looks, to an ordinary girl. Just when I think I might have live down, I am quickly reminded that I will continuously need to learn in every area, until it is appointed for me to leave this earth. And, THATS OKAY!I have been challenged, and stretched to go above what “feels good” to what has made me uncomfortable, and even unsure if it was worth the extra mile I felt I was going. Each time, God has shown me, that if I love with His love, and not my own, though it may not fit a Facebook “goals” definition, it will yield results I had not even fathomed.
And that will always make it worthwhile. That even when it hurts, I will aim to do what I know I am capable of, through Him. Knowing God is with me, that He is helping me, and that He is guiding me through each of these areas, gives me the energy I need to press on.
To focus. To be present and understand my life is not my own, that each breath breeds opportunity, to do something bigger than me, for a purpose greater than what I could come up with. It lights my fire.
It helps me stay lit.
And I know, though the makings of the day may seem similar, tomorrow, will not just be another day.
Thank you for all of you who read and have subscribed to my blog. To have even a little support keeps me motivated to do what I’ve always loved, writing. And, to not be nervous or concerned if it does what I hoped or not, but just to be happy doing it, which is more than I could say for my old, procrastinating self.
Thank you. ♥️